


Sing Just Because You Need To Sing

by writergirl659



Category: Bandstand - Oberacker/Oberacker & Taylor
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-01-29 11:22:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12629913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writergirl659/pseuds/writergirl659
Summary: This story picks up in the middle of the Bandstand musical going to the end, hopefully filling in some gaps and then some epilogue





	1. Chapter 1

Donny walks Julia home from the gig. It’s cold outside, and she sees their breath mixing in the night. They’re talking about her father and frigid air and being honest, and all Julia can think about is how Donny isn’t being honest with her. “I want you to be honest” She says, turning towards him.

Donny’s eyes darken. He knows what she wants from him. “About what.” He knows how much this will hurt Julia and doesn’t want to see her realize what he did to Michael.

“You said you were there. I’m tired of waiting, I want to know.” Julia says forcefully, wanting the tension that is Michael’s death to leave between the two of them.

“He dies Julia what else is there to say.” Donny says quietly, looking down at his shoes.

Julia tries to catch his eyes. “Everything! Was it quick? Did he suffer? Was he trying to save someone?”

“You don’t want to know.” Donny says firmly.

“For a year and a half it’s all I’ve wanted to know. Was he scared? What was the last thing he said? Was he trying to save someone?” Julia urges, raising her voice.

“There were no eyes Julia!” Donny exclaims loudly. “Jesus Christ. It’s not like the movies. Kay? It’s not like the movies. There was no face, no hands to fold, no hair to comb. Just stop it.” Donny turns away.

“I’m— I’m still waiting.” Julia says, her voice breaking.

Donny pauses and turns slowly around towards her. “0700. There was this big hill we had to keep from the Japs.” Donny pauses, and Julia steps towards him. “Michael and I were in a trench down the side of a hill. We're going on three days without sleep. And There’s pill boxes above us, these Bunkers. They would just fire down and we were trapped. So that night it starts raining. Michael says, “One way or another we’ve got to try and make some headway. Gotta toss some grenades, make a run at them and fall back”. So Michael throws first and uh, they must have gotten pretty close because they started firing down again. It’s dark, they’re firing and it’s raining. I had my grenade in my hand and I pull the pin and it drops right in the mud and and I start reaching for it but I can’t see it. Michael’s reaching down around there trying to grab it and I say get out. And I jump out and I roll down the hill. And I know he has to be behind me-’’

“Donny don’t say-’’ Julia interjects.

“He has to be!” Donny gasps, holding back tears. “I said get out and I rolled into a fox hole and I felt it go off-” Donny chokes, he pinches his nose. “Then he-he wasn’t next to me where I thought he’d be. So I climbed back up there and it was just black. Then I-I sat in that pit all night I tried to keep the rain from washing things away. Getting in the mud.”  
Julia turns away and starts heading back. “Julia wait” Donny pleads.

“No” she gets out as she as fast as she can away.

Donny pleads, “Julia— Julia” she stops. “I’m sorry.” He cries.

“Donny Just go home. For God’s sake go home Donny.” Julia chokes out between tears.

Donny freezes, and all he can hear are the gunshots echoing through his mind. “I’m sorry” repeating in-between the beats of terror. He doesn’t even notice that he's made it back to his apartment until Joe the doorman lets him in the gate. He nods hello, then books it back to his room where he can control the pain. Donny slams the door, locks it in place, then goes around closing all of the windows and doors he can, backing into the corner of his closet. This is where he feels protected and safe, inside a bunker toe to toe with the guys. He squeezes his eyes shut in hopes to black out the memories and the sound of the pin dropping before the explosion that killed his soul.

 

At first, when Ms. Joe tells him that Julia hasn't showed for the next gig, he doesn’t notice. Donny’s ears are still ringing from his conversation with Julia last night. He still hasn’t shaken of the ghosts.

“Is she bailing on us?” Wayne exclaims, walking over to Davy and ringing his hands. He doesn’t like when people are late.

“Do you have a phone?” Donny asks, turning to Jo. She walks over to the wall and points it out to him. Donny types in the number he knows so well, back when he would call Julia and hang up before the first tone sounded. Before he had the guts to call her and ask how his best friend’s wife was doing.

“Hello?” Ms. Adams picks up the phone. Donny’s heart drops.

“Ms. Adams? It’s Donny. Donny Novitski. Can Julia come to the phone?”

“She cannot. She’s stuck in bed now. She has a stomach bug. It came on very suddenly.” Mrs. Adams replies, feeling sorry for the fellow.

“Thanks.” Donny answers. He hangs the phone up. “Julia’s out sick. I will be singing the tunes tonight.” He makes his way towards the band and tries to ignore the disappointment in their eyes.

“She out? What does this mean for New York?” Wayne asks, polishing his trombone. “We can’t get further than Cleveland without her.”

Donny shakes his head and walks towards the stage. The show must go on, even if he breaks the lead singer’s heart. He knew the truth had to come out eventually, but he was hoping it would somehow get out after they performed in New York. The boys play a great set, but everyone, including the audience, can tell there is an important piece of the band missing. Donny knows he’s going to have to get through to Julia. To tell her how much Michael loved her, how he would give anything trade places with him. Instead, he lives in his nightmares. The only time he gets out of them is being here, on stage, with the music blocking out the memories.

“Julia, your father used to make me do that to people. I know we don’t get along anymore, but you do not know what they went through. Whatever we went through is a cake walked compared to what they went through over there. Your father didn’t tell me anything about the war, you should be happy Donny is telling you stories about Michael! Most never talk about it.” Ms. Adams scolds Julia. “Think of where you’d be without those stories. You needed them, and it broke Donny when he told you them! You resurfaced memories he’s been holding down for months! And now you don’t want to sing with them because you “don’t feel well?’”

“Your father told me a lot of lies in our marriage, but one of the things I remember that I know is right is he said, “ Shit happens, trick is not to step in it.” So you just need to pick yourself up and go to that gig!” Ms. Adams says, sitting down next to Julia at the dining room table.

Julia lifts her head out of her arms, tears streaming down her face. “It’s his fault, Ma! He’s here and Michael isn’t and it’s his fault!”

“Oh no sweetheart. Everything happens for a reason. Do you want to tell me what he told you?” Ms. Adams wraps her arms around Julia. They sit there, Julia in her mother’s arms, until her sobs die down. When Julia gets her thoughts in order, she sits up in her chair.

“He-he said that there was a grenade. It was dark, they were tired, and somehow Donny threw it and Michael couldn’t get out fast enough.” Julia whispered, tears streaming down her face. Ms. Adams gets up and paces around the dining room.

“There is no fate. There is no plan or destiny that we have. When things don’t go according to plan, we can’t go back and undo them. I know how much you loved Michael, but what can you do to somehow let go? You know he wouldn’t want you to grieve for so long. You know how much it would hurt him to see you hurting. He loved music. Maybe find yourself in what he loved. Talk to Donny and see if you two can become friends like he and Michael.”

“How Ma? All I want is to see his eyes again and tell him how much I love him. What I would give to have a moment with him!” Julia cries, putting her head in he hands. “I miss him so much!”

“You can spend your whole lifetime trying to figure out why everything went wrong that day. How someone killed their own best friend and now has to live with that for the rest of his life. You can waste your whole damn life assigning bits of philosophic meaning to the failures and misfortune. I’ll tell you what you get, just a lifetime of regret. There is no reason for why everything happens, it just a constant force of nature. And the only sane response is to adjust, not to wish it hadn’t happened when it must. The church will tell you one thing and your friends perhaps another. If I were you I’d listen to your slightly dotty mother. I’ve lost out on my own fair share of good times and of laughter trying to rewrite history. But, I learned that what matters when things happen is what happens after. How you pick yourself back up from the pieces.”

“Oh Ma, how am I to just get over Michael? I cannot forget an entire chapter of my life.” Julia asks, taking her mother’s wisdom into consideration.

“Do you know why Donny formed a band? Why Wayne always polishes his trumpet and Johnny only takes his medicine after gigs?” Ms. Adams comes towards Julia and rests her hands on her shoulders. “I don’t need an answer, but maybe you do.”


	2. Chapter 2

Julia heads up to her room after thanking her mother for he kind words. How is she supposed to know what the boys think? All Julia knows is that her best friend killed her husband. How is she supposed to forgive him? No one in the town has gone through what these boys have been through. Maybe it was time to show them how much she cares. One thing is for certain, that band is now her family, she would do anything to give them peace.

Julia sits at her table, and pulls out a new sheet of paper. Before long, she is writing a new poem. The words come freely, faster than anything she has ever written before. Maybe it’s a sign that this poem will change her life. 

First in the band is Johnny, the drummer. Did you know that his car flipped three times? Three times with three operations. He still takes medicine every day, but I don’t think that helps. Johnny’s memory was taken with his crew that day. He likes repeating things which Wayne likes, but it drives Nick insane.

  _Johnny made it home, most of him at least_

_Had three operations but the pain had not decreased_  

Nick went into battle because of his father who died in the first world war. His mom told him as a child that his father was a hero, but when he went overseas, Nick didn’t see any heroes, just boys. Boys like him who missed their folks, fighting each other to get the last biscuit before the next shipment. Trying to survive long enough to save those who haven’t had real food for years. 

 

_Nick learned to survive, means you never trust_

_Once you see the worst in men, then how do you adjust?_

 

Davy drinks to keep the painful eyes away. He liberated Dachau, and saw skeletons rise from the dead. He saw more than hunger and hurt, he saw betrayal, fear, and sadness. So much sadness. He tried to make the prisoners happy by telling them jokes, but when the English didn’t get through to them, he held their cold hands in his. He tried to show that someone loved and cared for them with as much nonverbal communication as he could muster. When Davy got home, all he could see were their eyes in his mind, so he used alcohol to drown out their faces, and the cruel people who let it carry on for so long. 

 

  _Davy cracks a joke, claims to be alright_

_Drinks a fifth of vodka in his kitchen every night_  

 

Tears are streaming down her face as Julia writes these words, because with each line she gets closer to the man who’s story she doesn’t know how to write. At first, when the men came home, everyone would be cheering and shouting. It wasn’t until days later when the men told their stories that the women found out the truth. With every new group of men, the women were prepared to face the second hand horrors their husbands, fathers, and brothers brought home. Julia wants to take away their pain, but she is carrying Michael’s pain on her shoulders.

  _And I stand here trying_

_Like mother Mary_

_With my private burden of grief to carry_

 

_Welcome home my boys_

_Welcome home my sons_

_Welcome home my husband_

_Welcome home my love_

 

_Welcome home_

_Welcome home_

_Welcome home_

 

Wayne comes next. He counts his way through the day, polishing and cleaning anything he can touch. When he’s home, his kids don’t play with him because he’s too afraid of what might happen to them if he looses his control. Wayne’s wife doesn’t know how to keep the peace at bay. Does he think he can live in a world where everyone steps around him? Does he think he can take away his pain and erase his past by scrubbing the dirt and wiping the fingerprints off everything he comes into contact with? 

 

_Wayne is never free, schedules out his day_

_Filling every minute just to keep the ghosts away_

_He could never get back the life he had_

_Faced with raising kids who did not recognize their dad_

 

Jimmy lost his boyfriend in a shipwreck. What it must have been like to keep their relationship under wraps for so long and not cry in agony watching him drown must have been the worst kind of pain Julia could imagine. Now, trying to become a lawyer to speak up for those oppressed like himself. 

 

_Jimmy made it back to town four months ago_

_Lives to tell the things no one could bare to know_

_Keeps his guard up now a lot goes undiscussed_

_Focuses on fighting what he finds unjust_

 

_Welcome home my boys_

_Welcome home my sons_

_Welcome home my husband_

_Welcome home my love_

 

_Welcome home_

_Welcome home_

_Welcome home_

 

With each “welcome home” she writes, Julia wonders if any of the guys in the band feel like they’re home. She has a feeling most of them want to be back out there with their troops, without the fighting. They long for the routine and camaraderie. Julia leans back in her chair to stretch before the hardest part of the poem. 

 

She knows his nightmares the most out of all of them. She wonders how his pain feels compared to her own, since it is for the same person. He has told Julia how the pain keeps him up at night. I must have been so hard to tell her all the stories about Michael. There is nothing she can do to make the pain go away. Julia knows that at first pained him just as much as her to be in the room together, but over time, she yearns for him. Like he brings a part of Michael back to her, something she thought she’d never regain. 

 

_Donny does his best, trying to pretend_

_What he doesn't talk about won't matter in the end_

_Donny made it home but thinks it wasn't fair_

_How he made it out but left his buddy there_

_Donny doesn't sleep because the nightmares come_

_Donny wants an answer, Donny looks for absolution_

_And I'd give up anything if I could give him some_

 

_And I stand here helpless_

_With my arms extended_

_Knowing full well, darling, your war's not ended_

 

_Welcome home_

_Welcome home my husband_

_Welcome home my love_

_Welcome home_

_Welcome home_

_Welcome home my boys_

_Welcome home my sons_

_Welcome home my husband_

_Welcome home my love_

_Welcome home_

_Welcome home_

 

She knows what she must do. Give this to Donny and hope that he’ll forgive her for walking out on him when he was so vulnerable. The next day, Julia walks over to Donny’s modest home in hopes of finding him. When she knocks, no one answers so she makes her way to the back. She knows he doesn’t like being snuck up on, but what’s on her mind is more urgent than her scaring him. She finds the back door cracked open, unusual for a soldier. She makes her way into his home and sees it littered with bottles and trash. He never leaves it without looking pristine, so Julia suspects that he had a flashback after. 

After making her way through the house without finding him, Julia decides to clean up a bit. After all, it is her fault for the mess. Scattered between the litter and the leftover food, she finds scraps of paper with melodies written on them. She puts them in her pockets to play through on the piano later. Even though she had about two months of lessons from her mom before giving up the piano, she hopes she still remembers enough to play them. 

Donny still hasn’t arrived by the time Julia was finished and had a casserole cooking in the oven, so Julia sat down and played through the melodies. She plays through them all, and rearranges them into a song. She leaves the slips of paper on the piano top in hopes that Donny will see them. Would he know it was her who did all this? Probably, since none of the guys know how to cook as well as her. The only other person would be Wayne, but only because he’s a neat freak. 

Before she goes, Julia takes the dinner out of the oven. As she walks out the door, she hesitates. The reason why she came was to apologize and give Donny her poem, but it doesn’t seem right to leave it here without an explanation. Julia sighs and makes her way back to her home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next installment is here! Please comment and give me feedback if you have opinions :)


	3. Chapter 3

Donny knew immediately walking into his home that Julia had stopped by. He thought he would be disturbed, but it was nice smelling a home cooked meal in his house again. Donny noticed that the mess was gone. Embarrassment overcame him, and he feels bad he left the house in a terrible state. Ever since he told Julia about what really happened to Michael, he’s been trapped in his head. He walks over to the piano and notices the music strewn about the top. After getting a piece of the casserole, Donny works all night putting the excerpts together. Julia had great intuition, the melodies on the pages fit perfectly together.

The next day before the gig, Julia stopped by Donny’s place. She heard the piano playing before she reached the door, and her heart picks up. She’d missed her friend, but knew she had to apologize and bring up that horrible night again. Julia knocked, and heard the beautiful piano stop. When Donny got to the door, she thought she saw a flash of happiness before they darken with sorrow. 

“Come in” Donny said as he opened the door wider. “Did you–”

“I’m sorry,” Julia said stepping in. 

“No Julia, I am so sorry,” Donny’s voice broke. Julia looked into his eyes and saw tears welling up. 

“None of us should be sorry. There’s nothing new can do to bring Michael back, we just have to honor him and remember him every single day. He wouldn’t want us to be like this Donny! Apologizing every day and stepping around each other like we’re strangers. He’d want us to be friends. I don’t want to stay too long because we have the gig in a couple hours, but I thought I should give this to you.” Julia handed Donny her poem.

“Is this your resignation?” Donny remarked, not a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

“A poem. To you and the guys. There’s so much I didn’t see and-” Her voice cracked. “I am so sorry-”

“You don’t have to apologize Julia, like you said.” Donny replied. 

“Neither do you, but we both know who you’re raising this money for. We won’t be able to raise enough money the way you and Michael dreamed of going but that’s okay we can take the bus and stay who cares where”

“I’m letting him down”

“You know how Michael and I met? First day of theatre rehearsal. I was mad because I didn’t get the lead, and he comes over and says “Don’t sing because you need to get the lead. Sing because you just need to sing.” Then he said that the girl who got the lead stuffed her bra with so much kleenex that if there was one cigarette ash she’d blow up like the Hindenberg. That’s the Michael I knew. Sing because you just need to sing.” 

Julia let herself out, knowing that her poem needed to be read in silence. Maybe it would be turned into song, she didn’t know, but she knew that it was the only way to explain what she felt to Donny and the guys. 

 Donny reads the poem, and immediately a melody forms in his head. It’s a haunting one, one every soldier knows well: taps. With the help of his piano, he forms the haunting melody into a loving etude. He reaches for the notecards strewn about his piano top to find the right melodies, and eventually creates a tune. For hours he works at ironing out the chords.

Donny checks the clock, and notices it’s almost time for rehearsal. He calls up Julia and asking her to stop by on her way to listen to the new song. He wouldn’t dare to play it in front of the guys without making sure Julia approves.

Donny gets back to perfecting the song, trying out chords to make sure the dissonance is just right for Julia. Before he knows it, he feels a soft hand on his shoulder. 

“Is this it? The song?” Julia asks, nodding towards a stack of music at his side on the bench.

“Yes that’s your copy. Can you read it through with me? I’ll start.” Donny says, starting with the opening chords.

“Nick learned to survive, means you never trust. Once you seen the worst in men then how do you adjust? And I stand here helpless, my arms extended, knowing full well darling you war’s not ended.”

Donny lets Julia take over the vocals, and once they finish, Julia sighs. 

“The chorus is a variation on taps,” Donny says, breaking the silence, worried of what Julia may have to say.

“You didn’t have to set my poem to music.” Julia says, turning towards him. “I love it, but we can’t perform this. It wasn’t meant to be for the bandstand. It was meant to be read by you and the guys.”

“We’d never be able to book a gig after we play this I know, but it had to be done.” Donny says, looking at Julia.

“What if I change the lyrics. We’ve got that gig tomorrow we could play it on. It’ll be enough time for the guys to read through their parts before we perform, and we can work on it tonight.

“But wouldn’t the meaning change?” Donny asks, not wanting to change the beautiful lyrics Julia wrote.

“It can still be “Welcome Home”, but just about a girl to her fellow. She’s waiting for him, watching him come down the street after years in the war.”

“Like if Michael had.” Julia looks at Donny with sadness in her eyes. They both wish it was true. 

“Well, we better get going if we want to be on time for the rehearsal tonight. We can bring the music in tonight, and hash out the lyrics after rehearsal.” Julia says, grabbing her coat to leave. She turns around to look at Donny, still scratching new chords into the song.

“Are you coming or what?” Julia asks, heading to the door. “Wayne is going to kill us if we’re late!”

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment what you think!


End file.
